We hit the streets of Melbourne to uncover some of the city’s best drinking holes, with a little help from TV host Andrew G

WORDS EMMA KRIEGER
PHOTOGRAPHY JOHN HARTE

Glamour and choice are yours at Fog bar

You’ll never go thirsty in Melbourne. Whether it’s a fashionable bar hidden down one of the city’s dark alleyways, or a sprawling pub offering a perfectly poured beer and the hottest new rock band, the city’s famous nightlife encourages Melburnians to take their cocktail-swilling and beer-chugging very seriously.

Dazzled by endless choices at our fingertips, we enlisted the help of Andrew G to shortlist some favourites. When he’s not travelling the country hunting down talent for the next Australian Idol, or co-hosting with buddy James Mathison, look for him at some of these favourite watering holes.

Best Live Music

The Esplanade The Esplanade, or “The Espy”, is undeniably a St Kilda institution. Scores of now-famous Aussie bands got their start here – the Espy showcases the best of the city’s live music. It’s a great place to take in a gig, knock back some beers and hang out with mates. And don’t forget to sample some yummy food from the in-house restaurant, the Espy Kitchen.

Andrew G admits he likes “watching someone rock it out” in the front room while enjoying a Cooper’s Pale Ale. “The Espy has live bands, cheap beer and the best photo of Adalita from Magic Dirt’s thighs that you’ve ever seen,” he enthuses.

Best Home Away from Home

St. Jerome’sGritty and slightly grungy, St. Jerome’s is a laidback café by day and cruisey bar by night. While it doesn’t have the largest selection of beverages on offer, this tiny space more than makes up for it with its fabulous atmosphere.

“It’s like your living room, but you don’t have to clean up. You sit on milk crates and St Vinnie’s sofas while you drink out of a longneck and eat cheese toasties, just like you would at home,” says Andrew.

Best Class Act

Tony Starr’s Kitten Club is the über-bar, with a stylish nod to the 1950s and 60s. The famous lime-green door on Little Collins Street beckons night cats seeking a cool jazz vibe who enjoy their drinks straight up.

Tony Starr’s Kitten ClubThe Kitten’s sleek second level, Galaxy Space, plays host to an ever-changing line-up of jazz, swing, cabaret and comedy acts, with Tony Starr himself getting feet a-tappin’ with funk, blues and Latin beats.

Rumbling tummies can head downstairs to the Asian-inspired restaurant, or for a private tête-à-tête, sequester yourself and your lover in a darkened corner of the Love Lounge. Drink of choice: the Bunny Girl – an enticing mixture of rose essence, vodka, Frangelico, lychee and pink grapefruit.

Best Date Night

La La LandWith both a city and Prahran locale, La La Land is perfect for an after-work detour or a night of debauchery when the pace picks up on the weekends. Its red and orange lamps throw a seductive warm glow over the space, while the plush velvet furnishings make it conducive to a laidback catch-up with friends. And for those aiming to woo, bar manager Matt Sanger says: “We’re told quite often we have the best first-date venue in town.”

The cocktail list runs the gamut from interpreted classics like the Lychee Caipiroska to more inventive concoctions like Pink Bitss – a delicate balance of Vodka O, Absolut Apeach, Cointreau and fresh cranberry. Channel your unscrupulous side with A Guilty Look – a clever and amorous mixture of Chambord, Baileys, Rubis and fresh strawberries.

Wine wise, there’s a notable South Australian influence, with drops like the Barossa Valley’s Langmeil “Valley Floor” Shiraz, O’Leary Walker Cabernet Merlot, Lawsons Hill Pinot Gris, Yalumba “Bush Vine” Grenache, Rockfield Sauvignon Blanc Semillon and Bird In Hand Riesling, all hailing from the Festival State.

Best Retro Bar

Rock ‘n’ rollin’ good times at Cherry BarFor more tunes and brews, Cherry Bar is hailed as “Melbourne’s first authentic rock bar”. From 50s-style soul to contemporary rock, the bar caters for pretty much every musical taste and it also has a large selection of imported beers to choose from.

“It’s a rock ’n’ roll bar in AC/DC Lane. What more do you want? Go there early, set up shop in the booth in the back room and commandeer the best jukebox in Melbourne for your dancing pleasure. But be warned, the barman will twist your arm into indulging in the ancient rock art of Jäger bombs…,” says Andrew.

Best Cocktails

Der RaumAny bar that’s frequented by the competition’s bartenders must be doing something right.

“Der Raum’s Melbourne Temperance Society was formed as a way of getting the bartending community together, with an aim of pushing the professionalism of the industry and making sure that we keep going forward,’’ explains Der Raum’s executive bartender Matthew Bax.

Der Raum take their drinks very, very seriously. There’s the highly intoxicating tipple absinthe (responsible for inciting the famous “little green fairy”), seasonal cocktail menus using only freshly squeezed juices as mixers and over 400 spirits to choose from. Lager-lovers needn’t worry either: there’s an impressive array of German beers.

With low ceilings and dim lighting, Der Raum’s standout feature is undoubtedly the hanging bottle installation by Australian designer Joost – the entire spirit range is suspended above the bar. Don’t leave without trying their Turkish Apple Toddy.

Best Before and After Bar

Gin Palace Searching for the ultimate martini? Head for the Gin Palace.

“Our cocktail list has 10 variations of the iconic martini and we were winners of the 1951 Martini Competition in Chicago,” says general manager Murray Pitman proudly. Needless to say, martinis are the drink of choice here.

With so many sofas, lounges and chaises to park yourself, the Gin Palace serves as a haven from the hectic CBD. The perfect meeting place before or after a riotous night out, it’s also the ultimate settting for late-night flirtations.

And don’t let the smallish-looking bar deceive you – it’s impressively well stocked, with plenty of high-end vodkas, gins and fine wines. Chocoholics should try the super-indulgent chocolate fondue.

Best Beer Bar

CookieSleek yet funky, Cookie is the playpen of choice for the young and street-savvy. An impressive food menu goes well with the countless beers on offer, including – count ‘em – over 80 imported varieties.

Andrew enthuses: “The best place for a drink ever. I’ve had my shirt set on fire, drunk beers I never knew existed and chatted with rock stars all in the same night at this amazing place! What a venue.”

He recommends the Hoegarden. “How come no one raps about that beer?”

Best All-rounder

The Prince of WalesWhether you’re searching for a pub, club or bar, the Prince of Wales is your one-stop solution. A cranking Saturday night will see you mixing it up on the dance floor at One Love, while the downstairs pub provides the perfect vantage point for people-watching on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Andrew reveals: “I like to sit on the benches on the street outside, drinking a Cooper’s Sparkling, and watch the world go by before retiring to the back bar after dark. It’s raw, loose, and you get more entertained by who comes and goes than any night in with the telly.”

Best Glam Factor

FogIf glitz and glamour is your thing, then Fog, with its black polished floors, sparkling chandeliers, jet-lacquered columns, and light fixtures designed by the late, great luminaire artist Geoffrey Mance, should be your destination.

“Our bar is a sultry little minx!” says Alexis Porter, Fog’s event manager.

Cranking on a Friday night, the slick inner sanctum of the bar attracts the cool crowd who loll upon suede banquettes amid all the gloss. Join them and sample the XO Café – a smooth combination of Chambord, Baileys, Patrón XO Café and a fresh shot of espresso. “It’s a more sophisticated take on the espresso martini,” says Porter. Very moreish and sure to keep you firing till the wee hours.

If you’ve had one too many, Fog’s well-stocked kitchen can help you rein in your silly side, with tempters like calamari, sashimi, crab cakes, crispy pork belly, and duck and shiitake spring rolls.

For all your travel choices, go to jetstar.com

Emma Krieger says:
A native Melburnian, I can boast of a solid cocktail sampling and bar hopping resumé, making me well equipped at traversing the city’s nocturnal boroughs for this story. Tragically though, I’m somewhat stuck in the 80s – Pina Coladas are an enduring favourite.

FIND IT:

The Espy
11 The Esplanade, St Kilda, tel: +61 (3) 9534 0211
St. Jerome’s
7 Caledonian Ln, Melbourne, no telephone listing
Tony Starr’s Kitten Club
267 Little Collins St, Melbourne, tel: +61 (3) 9650 2448
La La Land
134 Chapel St, Windsor, tel: +61 (3) 9533 8972
Level 1, Cnr Hardware Ln and Little Lonsdale St, Melbourne, tel: +61 (3) 9670 5011
Cherry Bar
103 Flinders Ln, Melbourne, tel: +61 (3) 9639 8122
Der Raum
438 Church St, Richmond, tel: +61 (3) 9428 0055
Gin Palace
190 Little Collins St, tel: +61 (3) 9654 0533
Cookie
252 Swanston St, Melbourne, tel: +61 (3) 9663 7660
The Prince of Wales
29 Fitzroy St, St Kilda, tel: +61 (3) 9536 1177
Fog
142 Greville St, Prahran, tel: +61 (3) 9521 3155